Divorce is Contagious

Did you know that divorce is contagious?  Unlike the flu you won’t catch the divorce bug because someone coughs near you.  Nonetheless, researchers do classify the influence of divorce as a form of “social contagion” – the spread of ideas, attitudes, and behaviors within social networks through imitation and conformity.

Tips for Expressing Gratitude

Expressing gratitude to your spouse is one of the best things you can do to foster happiness in your marriage.  Feeling appreciated keeps the feeling of being respected and valued alive.  It helps us maintain an intimate bond with our mate.  It even impacts how committed we are to the relationship.  These are just a few of the positive effects of gratitude in marriage.  [See related article].

The Power of Gratitude

Experts in business, leadership, management, and related fields have articulated the benefits of expressing gratitude for quite a long time.  Customers are more loyal when they feel appreciated.  Employees are significantly more productive when they receive positive recognition for their achievements.  Students work harder when their teacher acknowledges effort.  Volunteers donate their time more frequently when they are thanked for their service.

Understanding Bad Moods in Marriage

When either you or your spouse experiences a bad mood it can very easily have a negative impact on your relationship.  Often the effect is only temporary.  But, if bad moods are manifested frequently and go unchecked it can result in a much more serious problem.  Below you will find some information the causes of bad moods and how they are a danger to your marriage.

10 Tips to Become a Friendlier Spouse

Often people say they want to be a better spouse or have a stronger marriage.  But many times they admit that they don’t know how to accomplish this.  One of the easiest and most effective ways is to be more friendly.  It really is that simple.  Begin to treat your mate as a genuine friend and the levels of bondedness and emotional intimacy will increase dramatically in your relationship.  Below are ten tips to get you started.

5 Keys to Success in Marriage

There exists an age old question regarding which type of relationship style provides the best potential for a happy marriage.  What is the ideal blend of personalities, interests, backgrounds, experiences, and other characteristics that results in marital bliss?  There is not a single correct answer.  Couples manage to find success in marriage in all sorts of circumstances -and virtually anywhere on the relationship style spectrum.  However, marriage experts have identified a few key factors that serve to predict happy and lasting unions.  The most important of these characteristics are discussed, below.

Bedtime: 3 Most Important Times of Day

The Bible admonishes us to “let not the sun go down upon your wrath” (Eph. 4:26).  Some have paraphrased this scriptural mandate with the simple phrase “don’t go to bed angry”.  These are sound words to apply in any relationship or situation.  But, certainly we would be remiss if we did not apply this timeless wisdom to our marriage and home life first and foremost.  After all, our family relationships are the most important of all our human associations.

Ten Easy Resolutions to Improve Your Marriage

While mulling over ways to change your life for the better this year, why not consider a resolution to improve your marriage? Virtually nothing else that you resolve to do will be more advantageous to your life and happiness in the long run. Here are ten suggestions for relatively easy resolutions you can make to towards this important goal.

Returning from Work: 3 Most Important Times of Day

A speaker at a marriage conference recently made the statement: “The best times of the day to communicate with your partner are before leaving work, when returning home from work, and before going to bed.” It is certainly true that these are critical times of the day regarding marital relationships. But this is not necessarily the best time to “communicate”. There are definitely some “dos and don’ts” when it comes to communicating at these key times of the day.

Morning: 3 Most Important Times of Day

One should always be mindful of being loving, helpful, and respectful to his/her partner. Every day and every waking moment is important. We should never take one another for granted or misuse the time that we are blessed to have with our spouse and family. However, there are three specific times of the day that seem to hold special importance. Our words and actions during these times have significant ramifications. Indeed, how we handle these times can go a long way to either making or breaking our relationships.

Exploring Sources of Marital Expectations

Everyone has expectations regarding the manner in which they believe a marriage should work. Whether you realize it or not, through the course of your life you have formed ideas, beliefs and assumptions about virtually every aspect of married life. The expectations that both you and your spouse have will influence your relationship in many ways - some positively and some negatively. Therefore, it is important to understand where your expectations about marriage come from and the impact they have on marital adjustment and satisfaction.

The Blessings and Benefits of Traditional Marriage

The Bible teaches us that marriage is a covenant between one man and one woman that was designed and ordained by God. In a successful Christian marriage the participants enter into a life-long covenant and commitment with one another and, together, with God. Because God instituted marriage and is, Himself, a part of the marital covenant with the couple there are many blessings and benefits that a faithfully married couple enjoy.

The Average Marriage

It seems logical to infer that when marriages fail there are circumstances within these relationships that are worse than the norm. When couples call it quits it is assumed that the problems were beyond usual limits. Popular wisdom tells us that if the bad appears to outweigh the good in a marriage it is irreversibly broken and you may as well cut your losses and move on. But these conclusions are all based on unsubstantiated perceptions and not on facts.

The Danger of Idealism in Marriage

If you base your views about relationships on cheesy romance novels or Hollywood chick-flicks you are not only in for a rude awakening, but you may also be putting your marriage (or future marriage) in jeopardy.  Research shows that couples who believe in the concept of "soul mates" are at much higher risk of disenchantment, conflict, and divorce.  Couples who hold the more traditional view of marriage being based on a lifelong mutual commitment are happier, fight less, and are more likely to stay together.

Love Yourself and Strengthen Your Marriage

Scripture declares that we should each love others in the same manner that we love ourselves (Lev. 19:8, Mat. 22:39, Mar. 12:31, Rom. 13:9, Gal. 5:14, Jas. 2:8).  The "golden rule" taught by Jesus states that we should each treat others the way in which we would like to be treated (Mat. 7:12, Luk. 6:31).  Indeed, the only way we can truly know how to respect and esteem others is to first have self-respect and self-esteem.  A person with a negative self-image will invariably depreciate others and treat them poorly.  The Bible, in all it's wisdom, works from the assumption that positive human interactions are only possible when people love themselves first.  That is, when they have an appreciation of their own worth, strive to fulfill their own needs, seek happiness, and have a healthy sense of self-confidence, personal regard, and dignity.  Self-love is a critical component to successful relationships.  This is especially true in marriage.

Unhappy to Happy: Marriages That Stick It Out

The vast majority of unhappily married adults who decide to divorce discover that this path does not help them to become happier.  [See previous article.]  In fact, over 80% of those who divorce report being either just as unhappy or more unhappy - even years after the fact.  But what about unhappily married adults who decide to stick it out and remain together?  What becomes of them and their marriages?

Divorce Fails to Make People Happier

Many people who seek a divorce reportedly do so because they feel trapped in an unhappy life. They suppose that if they could liberate themselves from their marriage, which they believe to be the cause of their unhappiness, they could 'move on' to a life that is more fulfilling.  Social research, however, has exposed the fallacy of this myth.

Learning to be Content in Your Marriage

Marital contentment is a virtue that is far too rare.  [See previous article.]  Certainly it is much easier to indulge in self pity and regret than it is to develop mental and emotional satisfaction in one's relationship.  When considering this topic the common question that arises is "how can I become content in my marriage?"

Contentment in Marriage

Usually when we consider the topic of contentment, we think of money and materialism.  However, the concept extends to many other areas of life, including marriage.  While most Bible references on contentment deal with the topic of wealth and possessions the same principles certainly apply to our attitude about life circumstances in general (i.e. Mat. 6:24-33, Phil. 4:11-13, 1 Tim. 6:5-11, Heb. 13:5-6).  Marriage is among the most important areas in which we must reflect this principle.