5 Keys to Success in Marriage

There exists an age old question regarding which type of relationship style provides the best potential for a happy marriage.  What is the ideal blend of personalities, interests, backgrounds, experiences, and other characteristics that results in marital bliss?  There is not a single correct answer.  Couples manage to find success in marriage in all sorts of circumstances -and virtually anywhere on the relationship style spectrum.  However, marriage experts have identified a few key factors that serve to predict happy and lasting unions.  The most important of these characteristics are discussed, below.

Mutual Accountability in Marriage

One frequently overlooked dynamic of successful marriages is mutual accountability between husband and wife.  Indeed, mutual accountability is essential to a healthy, harmonious union.  Many happy couples may naturally employ these principles into their relationship without really realizing it.  Others deliberately make it a point of emphasis in the marriage.  In any case, husbands and wives who are not mutually accountable to one another are generally putting their relationship at risk of harm.

Disillusionment in New Marriages

Studies show that sixty percent of couples in failed marriages experienced marital doubts and dissatisfaction within the first year of their marriage. In two-thirds of these cases these thoughts and feelings arise within the first six months. Marriage researchers have long identified the post-honeymoon phase – first two years of marriage – as one of the key benchmarks in which divorce is most likely to occur. [See related article.] Why are new marriages so vulnerable to the disillusionment and discouragement that can jeopardize a happy and lasting union?

Exploring Sources of Marital Expectations

Everyone has expectations regarding the manner in which they believe a marriage should work. Whether you realize it or not, through the course of your life you have formed ideas, beliefs and assumptions about virtually every aspect of married life. The expectations that both you and your spouse have will influence your relationship in many ways - some positively and some negatively. Therefore, it is important to understand where your expectations about marriage come from and the impact they have on marital adjustment and satisfaction.

The Danger of Idealism in Marriage

If you base your views about relationships on cheesy romance novels or Hollywood chick-flicks you are not only in for a rude awakening, but you may also be putting your marriage (or future marriage) in jeopardy.  Research shows that couples who believe in the concept of "soul mates" are at much higher risk of disenchantment, conflict, and divorce.  Couples who hold the more traditional view of marriage being based on a lifelong mutual commitment are happier, fight less, and are more likely to stay together.

Factors that Reduce the Risk of Divorce

Virtually everyone has heard that the American divorce rate is about 50% for all first marriages (second marriages are about 60% and it gets higher after that). However, many do not realize that there are several personal and social factors that significantly decrease the risk of divorce.  In other words, not everyone is at risk to the same extent.  There are many choices people can make to reduce the risk of divorce in their own lives.