Never Marry Your Soulmate

You may have heard the old adage “never meet your heroes.”  Some may instinctively wonder why this would be considered good advice.  After all doesn’t everyone want to meet their hero?  But many who have actually had the opportunity to meet some famous person whom they strongly admired have been sorely disappointed.

5 Keys to Success in Marriage

There exists an age old question regarding which type of relationship style provides the best potential for a happy marriage.  What is the ideal blend of personalities, interests, backgrounds, experiences, and other characteristics that results in marital bliss?  There is not a single correct answer.  Couples manage to find success in marriage in all sorts of circumstances -and virtually anywhere on the relationship style spectrum.  However, marriage experts have identified a few key factors that serve to predict happy and lasting unions.  The most important of these characteristics are discussed, below.

Parent-in-Law Relationships

One aspect of marriage and family life that presents potential for difficulties is the relationship between an individual and the parents of his or her spouse.  The nature of these challenges differs greatly depending on the personalities, family situation, and other circumstances of those involved.  However, there are certainly several areas in which problems are common.  The purpose of this brief article is to identify some of these more common areas and provide some basic principles for navigating through the rough spots of parent-in-law relationships.

Why Marriages Fail

Countless research studies and other investigations have been performed in order to gain insight into the reasons that marriages fail.  Part of the rationale for such research is that if information can be learned about problems, struggles, and the like that play a role in the dissolution of marriages then more attention can be given to identifying, preventing, and navigating through these difficult issues - thereby saving marriages.  Individuals who are sincerely committed to their partner and truly desire for their marriage to succeed can learn much from this type of information because it reveals areas to avoid and/or exercise caution.

Disillusionment in New Marriages

Studies show that sixty percent of couples in failed marriages experienced marital doubts and dissatisfaction within the first year of their marriage. In two-thirds of these cases these thoughts and feelings arise within the first six months. Marriage researchers have long identified the post-honeymoon phase – first two years of marriage – as one of the key benchmarks in which divorce is most likely to occur. [See related article.] Why are new marriages so vulnerable to the disillusionment and discouragement that can jeopardize a happy and lasting union?

Can Lost Love be Regained?

Luke and Rebekah sat in a marriage counselor’s office describing their feelings toward each other. They had been married for seven years and their marriage got off to a great start. Early in their relationship they described each other as “soul mates” and they were virtually inseparable. All of their family and friends thought they were perfect for each other and that they had a storybook marriage. But their counseling session today revealed details that would shock most who knew them. “We have fallen out of love” was the message they were conveying to the counselor. They both felt hopeless about ever regaining the strong loving feelings they used to have for one another.

Exploring Sources of Marital Expectations

Everyone has expectations regarding the manner in which they believe a marriage should work. Whether you realize it or not, through the course of your life you have formed ideas, beliefs and assumptions about virtually every aspect of married life. The expectations that both you and your spouse have will influence your relationship in many ways - some positively and some negatively. Therefore, it is important to understand where your expectations about marriage come from and the impact they have on marital adjustment and satisfaction.

The Danger of Idealism in Marriage

If you base your views about relationships on cheesy romance novels or Hollywood chick-flicks you are not only in for a rude awakening, but you may also be putting your marriage (or future marriage) in jeopardy.  Research shows that couples who believe in the concept of "soul mates" are at much higher risk of disenchantment, conflict, and divorce.  Couples who hold the more traditional view of marriage being based on a lifelong mutual commitment are happier, fight less, and are more likely to stay together.