Restoring Mystique in Your Marriage

One of the greatest factors that attract a man and woman to each other and causes them to fall in love is a sense of mystery. There is a certain quality of unpredictability that appeals to our human nature. New relationships are fresh and exciting precisely because there is an element of the unknown. However, it is inevitable in every relationship that this feeling will fade significantly with time and increased exposure. Some describe the resulting experience as being “stuck in rut” or that “love has grown cold”. One thing you can do to ignite some excitement into your marriage is to restore a sense of mystique.

Here are some suggestions…

(1) Break the routine. One reason your marriage feels like it is stuck in a rut is because life in general becomes repetitive and mundane. It’s human nature. We get up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, complete a chore or two, and go to bed. Change things up! Even a couple of seemingly minor insignificant changes can make a big difference.

(2) Get away. One thing you can do change things up is simply take an occasional break together from your regular lives. A weekend get-away is wonderful, but can also be expensive and unrealistic for some. Take a day trip to a county or state park for a nature walk. Go to a community festival in a nearby small town. Drive to the nearest big city for the day and check out the landmarks. Be creative – there are many alternatives.

(3) Plan surprises. Everyone loves a good surprise. It’s often the small surprises at the most unexpected times that have the greatest effect. Do something for absolutely no reason. Possibilities include breakfast in bed, a romantic dinner at home, a surprise date, a thoughtful gift, and so forth.

(4) Make an effort to be physically appealing. When you first met your spouse and began dating chances are you went through some extra effort to make yourself look nice. You probably dressed especially nice for dates, styled your hair, and regularly wore perfume or cologne. You may have even bought new clothes, worked out to lose a few pounds, went to a tanning bed, or went the extra mile in some other way. You wanted to impress. Is it any wonder that intrigue dies in a relationship for a couple has come to disregard physical appearance?

(5) Avoid overexposure. Give your spouse a break… from you! It’s a fact that couples who are together most of the time are at a disadvantage compared to those couples whose lifestyles require them to be apart at times. It is true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Overexposure can suffocate a relationship. Spending time apart allows for exciting reunions.
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