Uncovering Deeper Issues of Marital Conflict

There are many causes of conflict in a typical marriage. Of course, it is perfectly normal for disagreements and arguments to take place between two mates. But when quarrels get particularly nasty, become prolonged, or continually reoccur it may be a sign that the source of the tension is something other than the supposed reason for the disputes. It could be that there are deeper more fundamental issues lurking below the surface that are never really addressed – and sometimes aren't even known.

Parallel Relationships

There are three primary relationship types that have been identified my marriage experts. While other names are sometimes applied, these three styles are often referred to as complementary, symmetrical, and parallel relationships. Complementary and symmetrical relationships contain both pros and cons regarding marital adjustment and satisfaction. It is widely believed that marriages based upon parallel relationships are the most healthy, successful, and happy.

Love is Not Rude

One of the characteristics that reveals the force and nature of love, according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, is that “love is not rude”. Or, as translated by the King James Version, love “doth not behave itself unseemly”. In essence, the expression means that those who embody true, biblical love do not speak or act in a way that is indecent, offensive, or dishonorable to others. If this is an expected quality regarding the Christian’s relationship with others, in general, it is even more important we reflect this principle in our most important human relationship of all – with our partner in marriage.

Levels of Communication

It is no secret that meaningful communication enhances the marital relationship. It is equally true that a lack of communication or negative communication will undermine a marriage. While most people are aware of these well established facts, few make a concerted effort to improve communication with their spouse.  Indeed, it can be a rather daunting undertaking.

The Power of Encouragement in Marriage

Research demonstrates that one predominate characteristic of exciting, satisfying relationships is that marital partners choose to encourage one another. This should come as no surprise. The necessity of encouragement is a repetitive theme in God's Word.

The Blessings and Benefits of Traditional Marriage

The Bible teaches us that marriage is a covenant between one man and one woman that was designed and ordained by God. In a successful Christian marriage the participants enter into a life-long covenant and commitment with one another and, together, with God. Because God instituted marriage and is, Himself, a part of the marital covenant with the couple there are many blessings and benefits that a faithfully married couple enjoy.

Symmetrical Relationships

The three basic relationship styles identified by marriage experts are often called complementary, symmetrical, and parallel. Valuable insight into the dynamics of your marriage can be gained by understanding the characteristics of your relationship type. Complementary and symmetrical relationships have potential for both positive and negative attributes. Parallel relationships are generally considered to be the most preferable type because it is a blend of the desirable qualities of the other two. What type of relationship do you and your partner share?

God Hates Divorce

"I hate divorce" - God

It is no secret that divorce is a huge problem in American society. Every 27 seconds a couple divorces. There are 7,000 divorces per day affecting 10,000 children. Divorce rates have doubled since 1965. Over half of all first marriages and sixty percent of second marriages end in divorce. At current rates, about 1.5 million couples divorce each year in the U.S. Perhaps saddest of all, Christians are reportedly divorcing at approximately the same rates as non-Christians. Divorce is ravaging our nation.

What does God think of this trend of divorce that is so prevalent today?

Working Your Plan: Step Five to Fixing Family Financial Problems

When it comes to identifying and addressing family financial problems, there are many hurdles to overcome. Countless couples have great intentions but fizzle out at various stages of the process when they encounter difficulties. Some partners have problems initiating the process. Others get started, but soon become overwhelmed by their situation and quickly regress into their undisciplined financial habits. Others still go through the entire progression of tracking, organizing, analyzing and planning their spending, but later get disrupted when faced with unforeseen challenges. These challenges are not always financial in nature. They are often psychological or motivational barriers.

Complementary Relationships

Most marriage experts identify three primary relationship styles that are common in our culture. Although sometimes different terms are employed, these three types of relationships are typically known as complimentary, symmetrical, and parallel. If you are married the relationship style has already been established and cannot be changed. However, awareness of the various styles will help you to understand some of the dynamics in your relationship and focus on the positives to strengthen your marriage.

Restoring Mystique in Your Marriage

One of the greatest factors that attract a man and woman to each other and causes them to fall in love is a sense of mystery. There is a certain quality of unpredictability that appeals to our human nature. New relationships are fresh and exciting precisely because there is an element of the unknown. However, it is inevitable in every relationship that this feeling will fade significantly with time and increased exposure. Some describe the resulting experience as being “stuck in rut” or that “love has grown cold”. One thing you can do to ignite some excitement into your marriage is to restore a sense of mystique.

The Average Marriage

It seems logical to infer that when marriages fail there are circumstances within these relationships that are worse than the norm. When couples call it quits it is assumed that the problems were beyond usual limits. Popular wisdom tells us that if the bad appears to outweigh the good in a marriage it is irreversibly broken and you may as well cut your losses and move on. But these conclusions are all based on unsubstantiated perceptions and not on facts.

Early Warning Signs of Infidelity

Marital unfaithfulness is a problem of catastrophic proportions in our culture.  Experts have estimated that infidelity occurs in up to 75% of all marriages in the U.S.  While some try to justify this phenomenon by labeling it as human nature, the devastating consequences to individuals and families are a clear testimony that there is nothing normal about adultery.  It only leads to tragedy.  [See related article.]  While there are some with deep-seated problems who intentionally seek opportunities to cheat, most do not deliberately set out to do so.  Indeed, many who become unfaithful to their spouse never believe that it will happen to them.  Often they are left thinking "how did this happen?"

The Devastating Consequences of Infidelity

Infidelity exacts a devastating toll on marriages.  Indeed, the vast majority of marriages do not survive the experience.  About 65% of marriages in which infidelity is discovered eventually end in divorce.  Even among couples who seek counseling after an adulterous affair in an attempt to keep the union intact, about 35% still end in divorce.  For those marriages that manage to avoid divorce after infidelity, about 50% are reported to be destitute or under considerable distress.  Unfortunately, these statistics barely begin to illustrate pain and suffering resulting from the aftermath of marital unfaithfulness.