Moral Commitment to Marriage

Moral commitment to one’s partner involves having a strongly held belief in the institution of marriage itself. Generally this includes a religious or spiritual component. But, it also may entail a more utilitarian element. In other words, those who have a moral commitment to marriage believe that it is the best possible option for social and relational existence – whether the rationale derives from religious doctrine, social ethics, or both.

More Forms of Control in Marriage

Attempting to control one’s spouse – whether purposely or unintentionally – is a sure way to erode affection in the relationship and eventually destroy it. Yet many couples unwittingly do this very thing. People selfishly endeavor to get their spouses to comply with their wishes. But, in the process they lose their mate’s heart as he/she becomes resentful and emotionally distant. In reality, nothing good can come of seeking to have this kind of power over one’s partner.

Level Five Communication: Emotions and Needs

Most couples realize that positive communication is a necessary component of a successful marriage. But, knowing how to communicate effectively in a relationship is not a skill that comes naturally to many. The first thing that must be recognized in order to develop better communication is that there are various, progressive levels. Each level is important and has its place. But deeper degrees of bondedness and intimacy is only achieved at the higher levels of communication.

Forms of Control in Marriage

One of the easiest ways to destroy a marriage is for one to attempt to control his/her spouse – or for both partners to try to control each other. Yet, the problem of power and control is one of the hidden issues that affect a great number of relationships. Forms of control often exist without the couple even becoming aware of what is happening. This is because control takes many subtle forms.  Furthermore, most people have little insight regarding their propensity to be a controller.  Unfortunately, there are several attitudes and behaviors adopted by many that are aimed at controlling their mate – whether they realize it or not.

Peace in Your Marriage

The Bible is replete with lessons that teach us the proper way to treat others and conduct ourselves in personal relationships. Among the most important of these teachings is that our associations and dealings with others should exist within the boundaries of peace. This biblical principle is general in nature and not specifically directed to the relationship between husbands and wives. However, it is certainly reasonable and appropriate to apply these admonitions to marriage, which is, after all, among the most important of all human relationships. Certainly it is God’s will for Christian marriages to exemplify the concept of peace.

More Cognitive Biases in Marriage

Every single living person has developed biases that affect their perception and reasoning. Biases generally take the form of preconceived notions that shape the way we interpret events, circumstances, words and actions of others, and so forth. Certainly one’s biases can and do have a significant impact on marital relationships. [See previous article.]

Avoiding the Blame Game

When negative issues surface in a marriage one of the first things that both spouses typically do is begin to identify the ways in which their partner contributes to or is responsible for the problems. This is a natural and instinctive process. Very few people possess the humility and insight to perceive their own role with respect to marital discord. However, this is both an unproductive way to deal with problems and a destructive force that may put the relationship in further jeopardy.

Love is Not Exasperated

According to 1 Corinthians 13:5, one of the characteristics that demonstrates the force and nature of true, biblical love is that it “is not easily provoked” (KJV). Other translations of this verse inform us that love is not touchy, irritable, fretful, resentful, angered, or annoyed. In a word, love is never exasperated. This phrase illustrates the proper attitude that Christians should have towards others when we are filled with God’s love. However, it is also easy to practically apply this lesson of love to marriages – the most important of human relationships according to God’s Word.

Level Four Communication: Sharing Personal Information

Positive communication is essential for marriages to thrive. However, some people mistake merely engaging in discussion as positive communication. While it is true that any communication that does not lead to conflict or problems is positive in one sense, not all communication brings the same benefit to the relationship. Specifically, one of the objectives of communication in marriage is to develop and maintain a sense of bondedness and intimacy between partners. However, talking about the news and the weather will not accomplish this. Deeper levels of interaction are required to achieve this important goal.

Can Lost Love be Regained?

Luke and Rebekah sat in a marriage counselor’s office describing their feelings toward each other. They had been married for seven years and their marriage got off to a great start. Early in their relationship they described each other as “soul mates” and they were virtually inseparable. All of their family and friends thought they were perfect for each other and that they had a storybook marriage. But their counseling session today revealed details that would shock most who knew them. “We have fallen out of love” was the message they were conveying to the counselor. They both felt hopeless about ever regaining the strong loving feelings they used to have for one another.

How To Affair-Proof Your Marriage

A tragic reality of our society is that more marriages experience infidelity than those that do not. It’s sad, but true. Some of the research on the subject has estimated that at least one spouse in up to 75% of all marriages in the U.S. will be unfaithful to their partner at some point during the union. No one believes this could ever happen to them. Yet it does – all the time. You can bury your head and the sand and believe that there is no need for reasonable precautions. Or, you can exercise due diligence to protect yourself and your marriage from potentially harmful or compromising circumstances.